Through high school (and beyond) I have answered to the nickname Five. Initially because I hated the typical familiarity of John, and the name also kind of stuck. I always thought it was funny when people would ask me how “Johnny Five” came about. If only Short Circuit wasn’t the second best freakin’ robot movie of the eighties!? (Behind Robocop, and ahead of Batteries Not Included, of course.)

Today, the original robot goes on sale for no less than a hundred grand. Better yet, I would rather have this guy sitting in the entrance of my living room with a crooked red eye, talking backwards, than the gun-wielding Robocop or a metal gnat.